Hallow'een is Coming.....and Batman & Robin Are At My Door

Hallow'een is coming and the goose is getting fat,

I'm half asleep when I hear the door in my onebed flat.

Ding dong, ding dong, rat a tat tat...

It's f**king half past twelve, who the hell is that?

I look through the glass, some guy dressed in black,
'Yes? Can I help you? Do you know what the time is at?'

'Please sir, put a penny in this old man's hat...'

So I take the chain from it's golden slat,
And open the door, to this forty something twat.
'Please put a penny in your bloody hat?'
'Get a proper job, Christ do you not feel like a prat?'
'What are you anyway, a giant rat?'
'No, I'm Batman silly, can't you see that?'
'Ha!' I laugh. 'You're far too f**king fat.'
'Do you not want the candy instead for your ridiculous hat?'
I give him a sweet, 'Bye now, no time to chat.'
But before I shut the door, another idiot arrives at my flat,
Dressed in red and yellow, green and black.
'Oh here we go, who are you?' I say to the wee brat.
'Why, I'm Robin of course, assistant to The Bat'
'Have you seen a woman dressed as a cat?'
'Oh yeah she's sipping cream from a bowl over there on the mat.'
'So do want some money too or do you not have a hat?'
'We need the change for the metre,' chirps up The Bat.
'The batmobile is parked right outside your flat.'
'We really are in a rush though, we're chasing a cat.'
She looks like a beauty, but she's a criminal in fact.'
'Oh piss off,' I say, 'You expect me to trust that?'
 'A giant rat and a little brat chasing a cat?'
'Holy parking fees Batman.' said Robin.... 'Damn!' Drat!'
As he drove his fist into his palm with a heavy 'SPLAT!'
'We'll have to ask someone else to put some money in your hat.'
'Yeah,' I said, 'Fuck off to somebody else's flat.'
And say hi to the Joker once you've done that.'
So that was that, I said bye to the boy wonder and the fat bat.
The next day a news flash came on T.V. as I sat.
A car being towed away and.... it looked like .... a bat.
And look, holy shit! There's my flat!
'In other news a rare diamond was stolen by someone dressed as a cat.'
I choked on my tea. Out it was spat.
'Well what do ya know! Robin and The Bat,
'They were tellin the truth! Stupid gimps. How about that?'