This story is a love story. Not the fairytale, romantic, dreamy type though. It's one of commitment, compromise, doubts and obstacles conquered by a duo bound by true love.
My name is Robin and seven years ago I was in the prime of my life. No worries, financial stability, healthy social life and in a job I enjoyed. I was coming out of a long term relationship however, mostly due to my inability to settle down. Why commit to a house and kids? I was going to travel the world! I would be the the local lad they would talk about in the pub, the one that got away and ventured beyond the carriageway to adventure, to something different. I didn't really have a list of priorities, but if I did, starting a family wasn't on it. Something happened though. I met a girl. I don't want to sound cliché, but it was.... love…. at.... first.... sight, dare I say it. An intense relationship began almost immediately, only successfully avoiding contact when I had to go to work (or the toilet). Three months in we were practically living together when Lucy was going to Lanzarote for the week. We hugged as though we wouldn't see one another again, we were now officially 'in love'. Lucy would be back on the Saturday with her birthday two days later and I knew her mother was planning a surprise party.
I didn't know if it was too soon to be buying expensive gifts for each other and was severely struggling with ideas for Lucy's present. With this dilemma in hand I decided to enlist the help of her mother, Margaret.
“Oooh, she likes these straighteners down at Argos...” was the advice I received with an underwhelmed, “thanks, yeah. That's a good idea.” Is this what girls really want as a gesture of love on their special day? Hair flattening equipment?! Maybe I'll stick with dependable Plan B – chocolates (Milk Tray or Ferrerro), flowers (from a very reputable petrol station) and a card. “Or what about an engagement ring?” Maggie chirped up. I almost ignored this ludicrous, uncalled for outburst, but I knew that she knew I heard her. “ Yeah, ha.” I replied, not totally sure whether the crazy lady was serious or if she was exploring some sick avenue of humour.
As I strolled through the thriving shopping mecca of Newtownards, I became worryingly similar to a small hobbit in Middle Earth. I couldn't get 'the ring' out of my pickled head, blinded by glistening gold and silver when I walked past a jewellers. I contemplated the straighteners when I saw them with a fiver off in a Superdrug window. Usually the fairytale would end about now with a “happily ever after” conclusion, but as I mentioned this isn't the traditional love story format.
We started a family swiftly after marriage and have four beautiful children adored by everyone (that doesn't live with them). But life became tough. The lad who didn't even have a list of priorities now had a book's worth of responsibilities to adhere to.
Overworked, underpaid, mounting bills and faded dreams. I developed a severe gambling problem which tainted the bliss of our family life. Unaccepting of help from friends, family or professionals, I was unable to kick the habit which was now putting my marriage at risk. Debts were ever increasing and the struggle to cope with both financial and relationship commitments was overwhelming. Lucy issued ultimatums and offered to help pack my clothes on more than one occasion. I would go through dry spells, not even putting a pound on the lottery but relapses became more serious, throwing up to a week's wages into Barney Eastwood's back pocket quicker than it took to change our baby's nappy. I would cash in my holiday pay to try and fill the bottomless pit of debt meaning I couldn't even take time off to spend with my family in order to make some kind of amends.
I should've bought the straighteners. I wasn't ready for all this responsibility. I've let down my family, the people who I should have been prepared to sacrifice everything for.
Eighteen weeks ago I placed my last bet. I lost of course. It was a moment which triggered a domino effect, one I was not ready for. An anxiety attack prompted my wife to ring the doctor and reluctantly I attended. Diagnosed with depression, anxiety and self esteem issues, I have since been off work and bet-free. I continue to work through these problems with great optimism only for the fact that Lucy is still by my side. She has had many opportunities and more reasons to finish this fairytale love story on a sour note. But she hasn't. Maybe I should've bought the straighteners but it seems to be the only bet I've placed that paid off. I'm glad I didn't. Lucy was able to buy her own with vouchers she got the following Christmas anyway.
We look forward to spending the rest of our lives together, problems or no problems, frizzy hair or straight hair and perhaps we will even be happy ever after.
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